and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
