Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
