then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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