So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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