dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
