It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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