Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
