Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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