There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
