I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
