So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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