can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I want a musical about memes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
