I must be too annoying 4 u.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
