i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
