She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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