i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
