The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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