She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize