he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
