the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
