Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
