right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
