I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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