video games are the ultimate cock blocker
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
