It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
