He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
