nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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