Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
