This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
