So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
