he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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