Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
