I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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