how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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