Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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