You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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