we have officially lost it.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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