just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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