i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
