pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
