so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
