That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
