mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
