normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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