Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
