I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
