I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
