Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
