I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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