I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
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The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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