No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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