The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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