No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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