I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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