his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize