I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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