She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
