if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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