i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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