nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
